Stella vs. Crocs

Stella: WHAT WONDERFUL THINGS! THEY SMELL LIKE YOUR FEET AND THEY FEEL SQUISHY IN MY MOUTH!!

Me: Where is my other Croc?

Chris: Your Crocs are all over the yard.

Me: Stella hides them and then finds them.

What Chris does not say: and you bought those hideous shoes and paid money for them and now you’re not even taking care of them, but are letting the dog use them as toys.

Chris: . . .

Me: It’s cold out anyway. I’ll deal with it when the weather warms up.

Me: Oh, look! There are my Crocs! They are neatly placed by the back door and FILTHY!

Chris: . . .

Stella: Ooh I love you so much. And I love your Crocs! They smell like your feet!

I think about washing the Crocs in the washing machine or the dishwasher and decide I need to use the hose. The Crocs sit there for weeks.

Last weekend, I was using the hose anyway and it was warm and I was feeling brave so I hosed down the Crocs and inspected them.

One tiny tooth mark that might be a tear from something else.

I don’t care if they are a fad and I don’t care if they are hideous. Those shoes are extremely functional.

Stella has given up.

Crocs: 1, Stella: 0.