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Good enough.

September 22, 2010

I was reading over this blog.  My MUST PURGE EVERYTHING desire took over, and I wanted nothing more than to start over and recraft all the writing and redesign the whole thing — and yet I did not.  I’ll probably take it out on my closet later this week — goodness knows, I need to.  But this beginning of an online journal, for now, has survived.

I know that not everyone is consumed with the ambition to obtain perfection — and I also know that people who are satisfied with mediocrity are, by many standards, happier, albeit less successful.  I have never been one of those people.  The stumbling block to my own success has always been that it is Not Good Enough.

I know this blog is new.  That it isn’t great.  That it has moments where the writing is awkward, or stilted, or too subtle.  And yet, I am happy to let it stand, as it is, and go from here and maybe in a month, or year it will actually address the question, “Vici!  Vivo!  Quid nunc?”*  For now, it’s just a slightly narcissistic attempt to use words to make some sense of life.  And that, for now, is good enough.

Is this what cancer has taught me?

——–

I won.  I’m alive.  Now what?  Things sound fancier in Latin.

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One Comment
  1. Daniel permalink

    You are a perfectionist. You have these ghosts in your own mind that you must please. They have almost become a type of god for you. You have this deep fear of not being good enough for the whoever may happen across this and want to be able to please everyone.

    And it is in your failures you know you are alive. It is in those failures (not cancer FYI) you have come through and have won. Now you must do better and work on those issues that hold you back.

    Vici, Vivo, vicis laboro in magis.

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